Every few months, I take "M", an 85 year old lady for breakfast. M lives by herself, in small apartment, and I think plans to do so for the rest of her life. I helped M deal with some real estate issues a few years ago and took a liking to her, and vice versa. I never had much contact with my own grandparents. We moved from Quebec city to Aylmer when I was 5 years old and other than the bi-annual trips to Quebec city, I essentially lost touch with them. So when I started to see M, it was a chance for me to experience a connection to a "grand parent". I realized how much fun it could be to listen to her stories, and also how happy she is to have someone listen to her.
M is strongly opinionated regarding her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, the individuals living in her low income building, her dead ex-husbands and OC-Transpo para services. She has four kids, two of the are still alive, I think seven grand kids and at least six great grand kids. She was married to two cheating husbands, one of them was a drunk (which explain her poor opinion of men in general). Lived well, lived poor. When life gave her lemons, she made lemonade, was careful about her money, planned for the future and invested a little bit.
In the last year her body started to stiffened up, ache and generally does not function the way it used to, but her mind is intact. She can carry a conversation about anything, remembers exactly what happened, does not mix events or people up and remembers which stories that she already told me. She also knows who only calls her for a favor, to complain, or to try to borrow money. I don't think that she is a bitter old lady or that she holds a grudge, but she seems to remember every time, someone asked for money, said they would pay back and did not in fact pay her back. I have to say that some individuals do appear to try to take advantage, but she can handle it, puts them back in their place and knows when to say no.
Her days consist mostly of watching TV, watching the front door of the apartment (on the TV), planning her trips to the doctor, the grocery store, the bank, and the bingo. One activity a day is usually enough.
M has my number, in case anything happens. I told her that I could take her shopping or to do groceries once in a while, but she has not called. She is very proud of her independence and will maintain it as long as she can.
I did help M cross the street, help her across the parking lot, in/out of my Jeep (which is getting too high for her). I have no picture to associate with this. You'll have to take my work for it. But the last time I went for breakfast, I did run into Chris, so there is a witness out there.
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